Lindsay Lohan sues E*Trade over Super Bowl spot

When you hear the name "Lindsay," who (or what) comes into your mind?

I know that many who live in New York might immediately think of a former mayor. Some in the California might think of the Lindsay Wildlife Museum in Walnut Creek. It seems, though, that sometime actress Lindsay Lohan believes that she is Lindsay and Lindsay is she.

Lohan appears to have taken offense at one of the babies in an E*Trade TV spot that made its debut during this year's Super Bowl. Specifically, she is offended by the alleged milkaholic who happens to be called Lindsay.

According to the New York Post, Lohan is suing E*Trade because she believes the Lindsay in the ad, who is not only a milkaholic but also a manboy-stealer, is a thinly disguised mocking of her own persona. Lohan's obvious heartfelt anguish is, apparently, worth $100 million. At least to her.

The Post kindly quotes Stephanie Ovadia, Lohan's lawyer. Ovadia believes her client has single-name recognition. You know, like Madonna, Oprah, and Madoff. She said: "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message."

The lawsuit is reportedly claiming a breach of civil rights, as well as use of "name and characterization" without payment or permission. "Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan," Ovadia told the Post.

I must admit that I have not been talking about it. I don't know anyone who has been talking about it. But I do have a little news for Ovadia to talk about. The 2008 list of 100 most popular baby girl names doesn't include Susan. Or Lindsay. It doesn't even have Stephanie. The 2009 list of Top 10 baby girl names has none of them either. Ella and Grace are the top two.

And when I look at the spot, I fail to see any resemblance to Lohan. Yes, it's a baby. But it's a baby with short hair and no freckles, and Lohan is clearly known for her long locks and her facial dots.

A spokesperson for the Grey Group, the rascal fiends who made this ad, offered a rather prosaic explanation for the Lindsay character. The agency, he told the Post, "just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team."

You see, that's what happens in ad agencies. They are terribly self-referential places. You remember that Sprint ad, for example, where the girl character is called Tracy Palmer? That's the name of the director of consumer advertising at, no, really, Sprint.

I wonder just how much of a case Lohan has here. I also wonder why she doesn't seem to have made many movies lately. She was extremely good in "Mean Girls." Perhaps she should drink a little more milk. I hear it's good for you.